Your Emotional Bank Account

An emotional bank account describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. If we make deposits and others do the same to us through acts of courtesy, kindness, honesty, communication, and commitment, our emotional bank accounts will have reserves. Our trust towards each other is high, and we can call upon that trust. We can even make mistakes, and the trust level will compensate because the emotional bank account has reserves.

However, if we or others have a habit of showing disrespect, betray trust, threaten, ignore, and not listen or only are consumed with ourselves, our emotional bank account will be overdrawn. If or when that happens, trust is gone, and soon the relationship will be gone.

In the case of marriage, large constant deposits are a must; if not, there’s a breakdown or even a break-up. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Perhaps the greatest way in any relationship to build a healthy emotional bank account is to really try to understand the other person. You simply don’t know what constitutes a deposit to another until you understand them. What might be a deposit for one might not be one for another. Find out what others love, what excites them, and let it become important to you. By living this way, we build healthy relationships filled with substantial emotional deposits. Or as the old saying goes, you can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want!

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